I find myself in a situation that part of me doubted would ever happen but which I was planning for in the near future. It seems that I have contemplated and studied this very thing for years but never had a realistic idea of how big a change it could be. How do you plan for something so unplannable? How do you prepare for something so unknown?
I am having a baby! It is growing inside me as I type!
I say it and it still has an unreal science fiction type of reaction on my brain. I will be 16 weeks(4 months) in the gestation of my alien parasite on Wednesday. How do you wrap your mind around a 5 inch moving human fetus growing on it's own in an organ that I rarely gave any thought to other than the fact that it was a huge inconvenience one week out of every month?
The sickness, exaustion, worry and science have become a 24 hour a day quandry. To even feed my own body has become a career in and of itself. Much to my dismay, music has been forced to the background even non-existant at times. It's a battle that is ongoing in my mind.
How do I balance myself and the life of a child? I have many ideas and much desire to continue moving forward. I have no doubt that I will pursue all that I have worked toward previously but I also know it will not be the same. The pessimist inside me sees this as a terrible thing, however, I know myself and that said, I know that I will re-evaluate and redirect my attentions and efforts in a productive manner. Even if I don't know what will come of it...
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